The accusation was aired on CNN's Crossfire, calling forth this

Could we have
lost Junior
to a clothes hanger?

Could it have been
a back alley
where Junior met
his demise?


"Junior"

"I want you to listen to me...I'm only going to say this one time: I did not have ... sexual relations with that girl ... that 15-year-old. ... I did not force her to have an abortion..."

We know it couldn't
be true because the
Republicans would have
risen up in righteous
indignation and
judgment.

Guaranteed!

 
OK...Good...We have his word for it,
and that settles the matter once and for all!

So it turns out there wasn't a Junior afterall,
the photographic evidence presented above notwithstanding...


But let us just speak here in vague generalities, and wonder...
what might have been...

If any man went AWOL in the service, was a drunk and cocaine addict, got a 15-year-old girlfriend pregnant when he was a 24-year-old adult, forced her to have an abortion, and refused to tell the truth about any of this...
Would that person be a good choice for President of the United States? Would that person be someone we might expect to bring honor and dignity to the office? There's a real good chance the answer is no.

 

Of course we know that Governor George W. Bush would never have done any of those things! He's a model citizen, put forth with pride by the Grand Old Party as their candidate for President. He's a pillar of society, a man well-deserving of respect and trust by one and all. (We'll set aside his own admission that he basically 'grew up' after the age of 40, and that he was at the mercy of Demon Rum from the time he was 5.)

We know that if there was even the hint of scandal concerning Gov. Bush (which there's not), we could certainly trust the Grand Old Party to rise up and demand the truth. As we all know, they held President Clinton's feet to the fire for eight whole years, whenever there was the slightest whisper or trace of impropriety. They took on this terrible task reluctantly, never in a spirit of partisanship or personal ill-will. They always and only were concerned for the good of the nation. In fact, they tried to warn the nation in the '92 campaign that Mr. Clinton was a draft-dodger, had used drugs, and was a womanizer. But the rest of us (to our shame) wouldn't listen!

So forgive us, G.O.P., and please reassure us now that you haven't given up your non-partisan vigilance of these matters, whomever they might involve. And we'll try our best to listen to you next time, because we know that whatever it is, you'll never steer us wrong.

Just imagine how strange it would be on the abortion issue, though, to have a candidate supported by all sorts of right-wing and family-values organizations and individuals as being thoroughly Pro-Life, when he himself acted as one who is Pro-Choice. Just think back to the fervor, the umbrage and outrage when John McCain just hypothetically pondered what his family might do if a family member happened to have an unwanted pregnancy. They were in a total stew about it then! So we can just imagine the kind of whirling-dervish fit they would have if the matter were suddenly no longer hypothetical but complete reality. If they thought any candidate for President had had an illicit relationship with a minor and then had forced that child to have an abortion, they would be livid, steamed to say the least. One cannot imagine they would sit idly by, fold their hands, close their mouths, and not demand the truth. They are simply too principled for that, whatever short-term political gain might be theirs for this kind of unimaginable silence. No, they are guided solely by their principles and faith commitment; they are guided by what is right, not by what is expedient. They believe in absolutes, not situational ethics. They know they could never sleep at night if they kept silent and shared complicity with such sin. And God bless 'em for it!

We're on record as having had nothing but admiration for the religious right and the G.O.P. when they went after all of Clinton's scandals. Rev. Falwell was one we could only praise for his video on Mr. Clinton's sins. So now we know we should expect nothing less from this great man of God concerning the possible sins of others. Pat Robertson and the Christian Coalition have been in the forefront of the fight for morality for many years now, and we're glad they've been there! They haven't looked the other way when it comes to sin, and we know they won't start now. When it comes to good principles and decency, their record is flawless, and we know that's the way it will stay!

We are completely certain that no one will ever support a candidate for President who has unanswered questions about his or her background. We are certain that each and every one of us will demand a full accounting of every matter of concern. And we know that the truly good candidates will welcome (even demand) this kind of scrutiny: 1) So their good name will be always be clear; 2) So the country will never have doubts about their morals and fitness for office.

For Gov. Bush, we have nothing but praise for his recent answer to a young man's question. The young man asked Gov. Bush: "How can the candidates inspire my generation and restore our confidence in the political process?" Gov. Bush's answer was short, but spoke volumes: "Tell the Truth." We like that! We've been lied to enough over the years. Our confidence in political figures is unfortunately waning. The younger generation, usually so idealistic, is now marked by cynicism. Even the confidence of pre-schoolers is on the wane, as evidenced by the recent rash of drive-by shootings from Big Wheels; they just don't care anymore. And why don't they care? Because our elected officials and candidates will not "Tell the Truth" as Gov. Bush so eloquently put it. Well, we know that Gov. Bush will always "Tell the Truth" and for that we are thankful.

The governor for one is a man of decency. If he were accused of anything as heinous as impregnating a 15-year-old girl (and say he was a 24-year-old adult) and forcing her to have an abortion, we know his decency would have kept him out of the race to begin with! He wouldn't even be in the running for President! And if he were just a little bit crooked enough to get in the race, eventually his conscience would get the best of him and he'd admit his errors and drop out. Or, he would continue in the race, admit to his errors, and trust in the goodness of the American people to forgive him and let him be President. There is no question that one of these options would be the very thing he would do, as decent and wonderful and patriotic and moral as he unquestionably is.

A situation where someone impregnated a 15-year-old girl (and the man was a 24-year-old adult) and forced her to have an abortion would carry numerous problems with it: lack of judgment, for one; it would be a crime, for another, child-abuse even; by the logic of the Pro-Life movement, it'd be murder; and, it would be hypocritical to put oneself forth as the Pro-Life candidate when you yourself were involved in procurring an illegal abortion. We know Gov. Bush, having never done anything wrong that we've ever heard about, would never suffer from this kind of lack of judgment, would never be guilty of any crime, would never have abused a child, would never have murdered, and would never be hypocritical. All of these things together with the rest of the unsubstantiated rumors against him – if they were true – would show him to be the worst kind of worthless scumbag. And this is something we will never believe, because we know he's good.

A person like that would need to be locked up for his own protection and the protection of us all! The praiseworthy zealots in the G.O.P. and the religious right, if they got their hands on him, would be fully justified in whatever they might do to him. Fortunately, in this case we'll never need to find out what that is, and whether it involves chemical castration.

Oh, how awful all these things would be. Just the contemplation of them is enough to make even a liberal nauseous. But thank heavens there are people who do care, and will insist on doing right!

We remember with pride the G.O.P.'s call to President Clinton to resign and do the right thing for the country. They called for him to put his nation's interests before his own. Republican representaives and senators alike were eloquent on what Mr. Clinton should do, and all of that was good. Representative Bob Livingstone (also accused by Larry Flynt) gave Mr. Clinton an example to follow, when he stepped down just as he was about to become Speaker of the House. We remember the pride we felt when he said he would remove himself and warm "the back bench" and how he would sit there and think of what might have been, twiddling his thumbs. But Mr. Clinton, not sharing the same high principles of the G.O.P., refused to do the right thing. We know that Gov. Bush would have followed Mr. Livingstone's example and have resigned, that is, on the impossible off-chance that he would ever have done anything wrong.

We need to question our principles, to make sure they're strong enough. Would impregnating a 15-year-old girl (when one is a 24-year-old adult) and forcing her to have an abortion be enough of a crime to disqualify a person from high office? It would seem. Would going AWOL and having a year missing from a person's service record be enough at least to suggest a person wasn't fit to be Commander-in-Chief? Very possibly, yes. Would a life half squandered on alcohol and cocaine be something that would raise questions about that person's fitness as an example to our youth? One would think. One would hope. Well, what then if you put all these things together, added them all up and came up with one big fat sum? What would that sum look like? Would it look gross enough that we would turn from that person in revulsion? Would its foulness stink in our nostrils to high heaven? And would we say to that person, "What kind of vile guts and hideous lack of shame is there in you that would lead you to even imagine that you might be someone fit enough to be President of these glorious United States?" Such a question doesn't seem a stretch.

But we know Governor George W. Bush would never have done any of these things. He is a man of such decency and honor. And when he says none of it is true – coming from a person whose profound message to a whole generation is "Tell the Truth" – then his word is good enough for us!

 


We know, we called this webpage a

And we're sorry there's not much THOUGHT to it, and that our MORAL OUTRAGE was diminished from the very start by our implicit faith in George W. Bush as a man of honor and the Republican party as a party of honesty first and foremost. Obviously then, asking the question "Will They Tell Us The Truth?" was just an exercise in empty rhetoric, since we believe they could not tell a falsehood even if they tried.

 

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©2000 NegativeSpin.com


Little Suzie almost ready for the procedure

Hey, remember on Oprah, George W. said his favorite song was "Wake Up, Little Suzie"? What is this song about? Teenage girl out on a date with a guy, at the movies, they fall asleep, and the guy can't get her home on time, not till after 4 a.m.! "We're in trouble deep," is a memorable line from it. Think about it....OK, that's long enough.



E-Mail: tom@hauntedbookstore.com
10-23-2000