END OF WORLD DRAWS NEAR AS YEAR 2001 ARRIVES! MILLENNIAL PANIC VERY MUCH JUSTIFIED UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES! 2001 may very well be IT for the world and for all of us. A source, to be identified later in this article, said he couldn't see it that the world would go on much past the year 2000. What this means for all of us who depend on the world for a place to live, basically is there won't be a place to live. Not having a place to live, logic suggests we will be dead. To take logic just a little further, if all of us are dead then that's IT for future generations, etc., etc. This global doomsday scenario carries with it certain consequences for ethics, morality, and social order. We can expect very soon that people who've had a difficult time restraining themselves -- financially, morally, sexually, and so on -- will soon be cavorting about in a literal free-for-all. What have we got to lose? will be their reasoning. They'll be stealing cars off of car lots. We'll have unlicensed cars, a great influx of uninsured motorists clogging the highways. There will be rampant gambling, everything from great Bingo parties to lottery binges to casino action, as people lose all incentive to save for a rainy day. They might say this IS the rainy day we've been saving for. There will be much death, suffering, and misery, as people decide to kill one another, their enemies, knowing there will be no long-term consequences. And sexually it's going to be a real lulu; let your imagination suggest how it will be; and people won't worry about "protection." Of course when this prediction turns out to be wrong and the world goes on precisely as it did before, there will be great consequences for the ones who cut loose. They're gonna wish the world ended! We repeat: the world will not be able to go on much past the year 2000! The end is just about here! Here's our source: There's this guy we knew a few years ago, a friend. It was around 1996 or '97. At that time he told us that his cousin said he didn't think the world could go on much past the year 2000. According to this guy's cousin, then, this is IT. HE'S NEVER BEEN KNOWN TO BE WRONG BEFORE! OUR FRIEND'S COUSIN BENEFITS FROM OBSCURITY DUE TO NO ONE EVER HAVING HEARD OF HIM BEFORE When you've never been known to be wrong, that's credibility. And our friend's cousin at this time still enjoys that luxury. To our knowledge, and we must repeat this is simply to our knowledge, he's never made a prediction of this sort (or any other kind) ever before. He has lived his life in total obscurity, except for the normal activities of the average person in society. This picture shows what he might look like, and what his normal investigative activities in the course of a day might entail. It could very well be that he sits in a strange tower somewhere, surrounded by musty old books full of kabbalistic and alchemical lore, sketching out weird theories of social determinism and predestination, tuned into underworld muses and spirits. It could very well be that in mixing potions through some hidden wisdom he's able to enliven spirits within vapors. Perhaps in his prophetic endeavors, the answers to age-old riddles and parables appear in the dank air around him, literally fluttering there with tiny wings before his beholding, understanding eyes. For all we know this is exactly what our friend's cousin looks like, this is exactly what he does. This friend of ours, we are not now in contact with him, nor do we desire to be in contact with him again that we might resolve the questions that we were not curious about a few years ago. But if a person like this – assuming he is a person like this – says he can't see it that the world can go on much past the year 2000, then we need to pay attention to his rantings. HOW CAN WE KNOW HE MEANT 2001 PRECISELY? IT'S BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY, EVEN IF THAT DOES MAKE US A LAUGHINGSTOCK FOR SEVERAL YEARS The information we received on this matter is short and to the point. Our friend's cousin said he couldn't see the world going much past the year 2000. Now we've gone out on a limb with that information and have predicted that what he meant by it specifically was that 2001 was the year when the world would end. It's fairly obvious that we've taken a leap here, assigning an actual year to what was afterall a rather vague prophecy. He couldn't see the world going much past the year 2000, which alternately could allow for a few years or several years; it's not necessary to see his prophecy as stating 2000 would come, then BANG, with 2001 it's all over. Part of our reasoning here is this: At some point in 1996 or 1997, he made this statement to our friend. We assume two things: 1) It was a normal conversation, one that would be normal for cousins; 2) They were talking over things pertaining to the Millennium at that time still a few years away. With this last assumption, assuming it, his concern was not what would happen in 2010 or after. As he used the figure 2000, a nice round number, if he'd meant 2010 or after, he would have said so. So it's less than 2010. 2005 and up through 2009 just don't sound right. That leaves 2004 and below, a matter of only four years. It could very well be one of those years he meant, but we're thinking he meant for his cousin to watch out just after 2000. Remember, this is a family matter, a warning, if you will, for a loved-one. We speculate he wanted his cousin to know this prophecy so he could be prepared. 2000, then "not much past 2000." Four years in normal conversation would be "quite a while." Three years would be stated as "a few years." Two years would be "a couple years." But one year. How would a cousin state the idea of one year to his relation? Exactly as he did: "not much past 2000." Or 2001. We realize in this we could be wrong. It's pretty poor logic, admittedly, to assume facts based on what is generally thought to be normal or on "what cousins do." Excluding 2005 and up through 2009 just because they don't "sound right" is arbitrary and not a point we can afford to be pressed on! Still, you wouldn't in 1996 or '97 say "not much past 2000" and be meaning 2005 through 2009! In that case, you'd say "not much past ten years from now or a little less, like nine years maybe." Anyway, the way we see it at this point is: we might be seen as the national laughingstock for passing on our friend's cousin's prophecy, then making the determination as we have specifically for 2001. But we'd rather be safe than sorry. We'd rather have a little egg on our face than have the entire world claim "We weren't warned of the danger!" WHY WERE WE ENTRUSTED WITH THIS INFORMATION? WHY WAS THE CHICKEN ENTRUSTED WITH ANNOUNCING THE DAWNING OF DAY? Two things need to be stated right off the bat: 1) We never sought the glory of making this announcement about the world ending in 2001; 2) We know we are completely unworthy of whatever glory will likely accrue and redound to our name and reputation. In fact, far from seeking glory, etc., the role that has now fallen to us is something we're fulfilling very humbly. You'll notice how we do not attach our name to this page. If we wanted the glory that is our due, then undoubtedly we would blazon our name upon the screen for you to see what it is. That would mean an instant celebrity status for us, and the requisite fifteen minutes of fame that everyone talks about all the time. Fame, though, has terrible consequences, as when Frank Sinatra, Jr., was kidnapped in the early '60s, or when Getty's grandson had his ear cut off. We do not seek such a thing. Or there might be Prophecy Groupies chasing down the street after us trying to scrape dirt from our license plates or get autographs only to sell them for a high price on eBay or at Southeby's. We choose to remain in obscurity as far as any potential celebrity. Our only hope is that the world will heed the word of our friend's cousin. Then when 2001 gets here and the world ends, that perhaps a few of you will send us a friendly e-mail recognizing we were right. Whatever glory we might hope for and actually receive (albeit reluctantly), let the record show we never sought it and that we judged ourselves completely unworthy of it. So, why were we entrusted with this information? How is it that we just happened to have this particular friend who just happened to have this particular cousin who just happened to be apparently studying this matter and world events? How is it that his cousin just happened to be visiting him, that this subject just happened to come up, that later we just happened to be riding in a car with our friend (as we were), and that our friend just happened to share this information with us? Our theory on all this is that it most definitely did not just happen. It appears to have happened with some larger purpose in mind, that we might warn the world when the time was right, which is NOW. We see ourselves kind of like the chicken that announces the morning dawn. Is there anything more spectacular than the morning dawn? The morning dawn is comparable of course to the sun going down in the evening, but apart from those two natural phenomena there are few (or no) phenomena more spectacular. So, why does the Oversoul leave it to the lowly chicken to announce the morning dawn? Surely there are creatures with more heft and dignity who'd do a better job announcing something so great. The trumpeting elephant could stretch its majestic trunk up and let loose one of those throat noises they make. That'd wake us up! Or the giraffe, a very very tall creature and closer to the sun, could be counted on to never miss a morning's yell. But while the giraffe and the elephant are still dreaming, it's the lowly chicken that rouses itself from its still dark warm roost, drags itself lethargically up to the highest fence post in the barnyard, waits for the first little sliver of light to pop above the horizon, then warbles out its manical little squawk: "Urr, uh, urr, uh, urr, uhhhh..." [cock-a-doodle-do]. That chicken is humble, and we are humble. He just happens to be faithful to his duty and his vocation, as we are. We didn't ask for this watchman's post. But may it never be said that we shirked our duty when it was thrust upon us, that we called it out with a clear voice and in an unmistakeable way: this old world can't go much past 2000, and that means 2001! PLUS THE SIGNS ALL SEEM TO BE PRETTY CLEAR! THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE, BUT ARE YOU HUMBLE ENOUGH TO SEE IT? Who are the ones who understand the in's and out's of life? Are they found in the higher realms of government, of academia, among authors, scientists, businessmen? No, it's one of the ironic truths of the deeper life that the very ones you'd most expect to see the truth remain blind to it. In fairy tales and myths, we see it all the time. It's the average person, for instance the village shoemaker who gets the vision, who has those numinous moments. We admit again our ignorance as to the facts of our friend's cousin's vocation. And this time we'll leave out the tortured attempts to arrive at a logical conclusion by illogical assumptions: just let us say, we'd be "mighty surprised, mighty surprised indeed" to find out this fellow's cousin happened to be much of anything. That is, in society's eyes. Would he be in the government, in academic, an author, a scientist, a renowed businessman? Probably not. He's like this old shoemaker (probably). With each tap of his hammer, driving another nail into the sole of a shoe, some spiritual force drives a nail of truth .... yes .... into his soul! Kind of poetic, isn't it? He hears the talk that goes on around the shop: 18-year-old cheerleader G.T. was seen leaving the home of the wrestling coach. Tap. A carload of drunken college students drive by yelling and throwing beer cans. Tap. Divorce statistics on the rise. Tap. Government scandals. Tap. Old women thrown out of their homes by hard-hearted bankers. Tap. Starving children. Tap. Government scandal. Tap. Tap, Tap, Tap... the tapping grows louder, the tapping increases in speed till it's a kind of delirious staccato drumroll. Tap! Tap! Tap! Tap! louder and faster, faster all the time, and the shoemaker's eyes bug out as his hands move the hammer like some kind of runaway science fiction machine! Then the customer comes in to get his shoes and it looks like they've been in an orgy with a box of nails; now they're just a clump of nails and leather about two foot square. More like sculpture than footwear. Not built for comfort. The signs are clear that the end is here. But, friends, signs can be subjective. There have been earthquakes since the very beginning, and all the rest. It's the prophecy that's objective. We have no leeway there, no wiggle room, there's only the word, stated clearly and without hesitation. The world cannot go on much past 2000. That means the signs are right. WHAT IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN? note to self---go with the chicken jpg again THERE'S ALWAYS THE POSSIBILITY THAT OUR FRIEND'S COUSIN COULD BE WRONG, AND THEREFORE WE ALSO ARE WRONG This is perhaps our worst nightmare: We've said the world is ending in 2001 thanks to this guy's idiot cousin, then it doesn't happen. We start seeing the headlines in June 2001: "DOOMSDAY PROPHET HAS SIX MONTHS TILL DAY OF RECKONING." Then about October 2001, newspaper reporters start scheduling interviews with us because it looks like we were wrong afterall. Then in December 2001, we're sweating it ourselves privately, while calling for patience and faith in our supporters publically. We have that line all ready: "Of course it couldn't have happened at the beginning of 2001, that'd be too easy." We've gotten all the way up to December 2001 basically to test our resolve, to test our belief, etc. Christmas 2001 comes and still the world goes on as it always has. The newspapers emblazon it across the page: "ONE MORE WEEK FOR CRACKPOT 'PROPHET'." But we stand fast. Now we've told our friends, like in the great book When Prophecy Fails by Leon Festinger, Henry W. Riecken, and Stanley Schachter, this would be a good time to strip ourselves completely of all metal, zippers, metal buttons, bracelets, etc., and go to the backyard to watch the skies. Then we're out there off and on up to New Year's Eve. With December 31, though, we're totally psyched. We finally decide maybe we've erred in not asking our friend a little more about his cousin. Is he actually an idiot? Or could it be he was in government or academia and therefore unfit to receive prophecy? Loose ends everywhere! What ever made us think he might be a shoemaker, making shoes one at a time? They don't really do that, do they? The press has asked us about our friend. The cousin hasn't surfaced in news reports. Only our claims about him. It seems like he would have wanted some glory if this were a true prophecy? The doubts are swirling in our minds, but we're still putting on a good public front. What if our friend didn't even have a cousin, but just for the sake of conversation, trying to impress us all those years ago, threw in this so-called prophecy and the cousin he'd always wished for? So now here I am now with an entire website devoted to it. I've spat in the faces of countless skeptics doing their level best to debunk me at every turn. I've spurned wise family advice to visit some kind of deprogrammer or be committed to the Behaviorial Services Unit. I've put every last cent I had into this insane effort to inform a world that's basically rolling on the floor ridiculing me. Now I have a backyardful of sheep-like followers holding up their pants, raiding my linen closet for white sheets. We're out there milling around, looking at the skies, cold as crap. And once in a while someone yells out the window what time it is because we can't wear a watch since they have metal parts. I start thinking 'just because it's midnight here doesn't mean anything, because it's still not midnight at other places in the world.' For a few minutes, that rallies me. Then I hear somebody wondering if there shouldn't be a sign that something drastic's about to happen, a rumbling, tremors, bright lights, a three-legged dog, anything? Suddenly something occurs to me: if it doesn't happen can I blame it on this guy's word of doubt? But of course I realize how lame that is. Yes, it could be that this prophecy is a little less than definite. But we won't count on it, and you shouldn't either. It's going to happen, and that we know for sure.

YOU'VE REACHED THE HEADQUARTERS OF "2001 THAT'S IT"

Friends, we do not know how long we can continue to supply you with these Secret Journals. Our source is getting very nervous, but he wants the world to know. It could be that we might have to move them to a secret location that would require a password to access. We hope that doesn't have to happen. Please read what you can today. And if your computer allows you to save files and read them offline, that might be worth considering. If you do not know how to do that, consult your computer's instruction manual. We cannot guarantee anything and for that we are most sincerely sorry.

Dr. Charles Armstrong's SECRET JOURNAL #1 Feb. 1 – Feb. 21, 2001 The Rush It Is To Be The Center of the Universe In These End-Times

Dr. Charles Armstrong's SECRET JOURNAL #2 Feb. 22 – Mar. 10, 2001 Continuing Faithful In a Perilous World As This Dread End-Time Scenario Plays Itself Out

Dr. Charles Armstrong's SECRET JOURNAL #3 March 11 – Present Everyday the Temptation Presents Itself to Give Up But Everyday We Fight With All Our Might to Continue On

Send us $25,000 and Get a Great Premium: A Globe!* Please make your most generous donation to our efforts to warn the world about the end. And please don't ask whether your donation is tax-deductible. Think about it, you won't be doing your taxes when the world ends! Your reward will be in those last few seconds of consciousness, when it flashes before your eyes the fact that you gave your best gift. Since you can't take it with you, you won't mind it that all your $5,000 contribution got you was this pink comb premium*. What do any of us need with expensive possessions under the circumstances? You may as well give everything away and move to the hills. There's no reason to hold back now! *Pink imprinted comb is for illustrative purposes only. The comb premium you actually receive for your $5,000 contribution may not be pink and will not be imprinted. If you request a globe at the $25,000 level, the globe will not be imprinted and may vary substantially from the globe pictured above. Thanks for all the orders on the globes. We've sold 48 globes at $25,000 apiece, which if you add it up (or multiply for greater efficiency), comes to a goodly sum. Money which we will use to keep this website state-of-the-art, that the world may know the truth...that 2001 is IT. Remember, the combs are only $5,000... keep our shipping department busy... we've got to pay these people whether the orders come or not!

HELP US WARN THE WORLD IN 2001! We're desperately trying to raise money so we can warn the world while there's still time that time has run out! For that purpose we've now begun to sell collectibles and keepsakes. Pictured here is a beautiful globe imprinted with one of our catchy (copyrighted) slogans: "2001 That's It!". Guaranteed to be a valuable collectors' item for years to come, you'll display this lovely item with a great deal of pride. And more important, you'll know you helped warn the world before it was too late that it was too late! Details coming soon on how to order! Another prophecy suddenly occurs to us. Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld said the treaties we signed with the Soviets are no longer valid because that nation does not exist. What better cover for the Soviet Union than to pretend it no longer exists?? Our intuition tells us... coming to mind right this minute... not only do they still exist... but mid-something, starts with a J... a JU... mid-July we expect they will descend upon Israel, signalling the end. The Red Menace is still alive! Another sign that 2001 is IT! If it happens just the way we describe, do not be surprised! And if it for some reason does NOT happen as we described, of course that'll be because enough people will have gotten their lives right and will have narrowly averted disaster. Downside of this prophecy is it kind of makes moot our day to day end-watch between now and July....but we'll watch and wait anyway, just in case we're wrong. Which we're undoubtedly not.

BACK TO INDEX PAGE Text, Elements of Graphics © 2000 NegativeSpin.com FACT: We really did have a friend who said in 1996 or 1997 that his cousin told him he couldn't see the world going on much past the year 2000. Beyond that we make no actual claim. This is a "humor" site, you know. E-Mail: tom@hauntedbookstore.com 12-7-2000