George W. Bush – A Man of Few Words (And Now Six Colors)

Before the big debate, George W. Bush practices with his campaign's latest innovation, the "ElectroDebater 2000," designed to make this "Man of Few Words" the "Man of No Words." Because as everyone knows, the less he says the better he does!

Yes, it's the "ElectroDebater 2000," and it's been in all the papers. But here we have the first actual glimpse of it! The highly complicated keypad, accessible by Gov. Bush at the podium, or by his staff in the backroom (in the event of candidate panic), gives the choice of six buttons. (The report that there were seven buttons is true. The seventh button was apart from the others, being a "panic button" meant for the candidate to communicate his discomfort to his staff. But in test debates Gov. Bush was continually pushing it to the exclusion of the other six choices, causing some measure of "panic" among his handlers; it has since been removed.) Six buttons remain, and with time it is the firm hope of everyone that Gov. Bush will be able to master all of them. Each button on the ElectroDebater 2000 corresponds of course to a light flashing on the podium. So now in the remaining debates, Gov. Bush (a person obviously uncomfortable answering questions) won't actually have to make a peep! The flashing lights will do all the talking for him! And while this will probably prove vexing to his opponents in the race, it'll make Gov. Bush a better debater and do wonders for his popularity!

	"I refuse to accept the premise of your question."
	"I was twice elected governor of the state of Texas."
	"I believe that's a matter for each state to decide."
	"I'm runnin' to bring integrity and dignity to the office."
	"Christ, because he changed my heart."
	"Yes, I know how to read."

Space-Age Keypad

What We Can Expect Now in the Debates... MODERATOR: Do you think that the gun industry, the video game industry and Hollywood have any role in what happened at Columbine High? JOHN MCCAIN: Absolutely, and there's one other group of Americans, and that is families. Families and communities and neighborhoods, because that's where the responsibility begins and ends. But I've been saying for a long time that it's not just the availability of guns, although, obviously, existing laws have to be enforced and we have to do other things such as pursue technology that only allows the owner of a gun to fire it. But we've all known that there's very pernicious influences that are being felt by our children. MODERATOR: Governor Bush? GEORGE W. BUSH: ElectroDebater 2000 signals MODERATOR. Ambassador Keyes, what do you think a president can do these days that would make a real difference in interrupting this culture of violence that is so prevalent in so many communities? ALAN KEYES. I think the first thing we have to do is restore this country's allegiance to its basic moral principles. We express great shock and outrage that we are bloodying the hallways of our schools with the blood of our children. What about the blood of our children killed in the womb on the basis of a doctrine that completely rejects the basic principles on which this nation was founded? If our rights come from God, then we ought to shape our children's consciences in the fear of God. And I think that what we're seeing in our schools is the direct result of our failure to respect that heritage and to pass it on. So the first thing I would want to do is get us back to that road with a human life amendment that respects life and restores our respect for the will of God. Then let's turn those schools back over to responsible parents so that we can put faith and prayer back in the classroom and the shaping of the conscience in the fear of God will then become once again the everyday business of our schools. I think we can clear up the void only by filling that void once again with the faith this country was founded on. MODERATOR: Governor Bush....same question. BUSH: ElectroDebater 2000 signals MODERATOR. I'd like to run the table quickly with one individual question. What political philosopher or thinker, Mr. Forbes, do you most identify with and why? FORBES. Well, I won't say I'm reading a book by a philosopher and I'm not reading a book on Dean Acheson, but seriously, seriously, sorry, but seriously, the philosopher that I think has had the most impact, or profound impact on this country is John Locke. Even though there are some flaws I think he set the stage for what became a revolution and then after that, Thomas Jefferson with what he wrote in the Declaration of Independence. MODERATOR. Thank you. Mr. Bush? Political philosopher or thinker? BUSH: ElectroDebater 2000 signals MODERATOR. We're going to begin now the final round of the closing statements. We begin with you Mr. McCain. MCCAIN. I'm running for president of the United States because I want to reform government. I want to reform the education system, I want to reform the military and I want to reform the tax code. I want to get us in tune with this information technology revolution. I can't do that if we have a flawed campaign finance system. The hundreds of thousands of dollar checks that have taken away free speech, that have given the megaphone to the big money people and made you whisper in Washington. The cynicism which borders on alienation amongst young Americans disturbs me. I need to reform this system. We need to give the government back to the people. And then I can inspire a generation to commit themselves to causes greater than their self interests. I am prepared to be president of the United States. Please join me in this great crusade. MODERATOR: Mr. Bush, your closing statement? BUSH: ElectroDebater 2000 signals , then , then .

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