COME BACK AND CLICK OUR LOGO FOR ALL OUR FEATURES: Dick Cheney's Stolen Medical Records This is probably something we shouldn't admit to, since they say you can get into lots of trouble stealing medical records, probably especially when the patient is the next vice president of the United States! But that's exactly what we did! We got to thinking: George W. Bush comes out and says Cheney didn't have a heart attack. Huge crisis and we have Bush's word on it: no heart attack. Then they come out and say 'uh, guess what, he had a heart attack.' So we get to thinking what ELSE are they hiding from us? Then it seemed almost like a civic duty to steal the records and find out. Then we got to thinking, he's a public servant, right? That means he serves us. That means we're the boss. And we've seen it on TV several times that bosses are allowed to go through their employees' drawers and private things after hours. So...it wasn't really stealing afterall, but just checking out one of our employees to make sure he's not lying to us about his health. Anyway, it took two trips to get the records stolen. First we went in with one of those really small cameras. We clicked about 40 pictures and when we got them developed it turned out we were holding the camera backwards. So we have about 40 pictures of ourself, which have very little value except to remind us just how unsightly nose hair is. The second time in we left the camera at home, so we just grabbed papers and records like it was an after-Christmas sale. We culled through this lot of stuff and what we found of most importance we put on this page. Let the public see what they've been hiding!

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