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Dick Cheney: An Interesting Guy "Who do we think we're foolin'?' you say? You think Cheney is tiresome and boring? And you even call him The Big Snooze? Hey, look, the guy can't help it. And anyway, we don't think he is, so there! Besides, how can we have a new morning in America without someone somewhere just waking up? Yes, that's right, we think Dick Cheney has the whole day ahead of him, because he's wide awake, and the rest of us are not really as drowwwwwssy as we may seem... As I type this I'm looking at that picture of him, and it reminds me of that hypnotist that came to the company picnic a few years ago. [Break eye contact; there!] Plus, who said we need interesting all the time? At some point shouldn't we just say 'This is the best the United States of America can expect for its leadership' and let it go at that?' Frankly, we're sick and tired of all the so-called humor that's been leveled at Dick Cheney: such as when he was trying to read to school children and they all fell asleep, Cheney included! Apparently those Harry Potter books aren't as interesting as they say, or maybe school children mistakenly think they need something besides a monotonous drone. Anyway, all this humor is not helpful! He IS interesting! That's right, we mean Dick Cheney! ...Yes, THAT Dick Cheney!

We happen to think Dick Cheney is a very interesting guy, and we can prove it:

He's more interesting than grass.

He's more interesting than sidewalk cracks.

He's more interesting than toilet paper.

He's just slightly more interesting than this joke.

He's more interesting than watching fingernails grow.

The toilet paper's catching up with him, but he's still more interesting! Go, Cheney, Go!!

He's more interesting than bubble wrap.

He's more interesting than a sheep from 1951.

Oh no! Cheney's met his match! He's very boring!

Sorry, Dick. I guess it's back to Wyoming, or Texas, or wherever it is you're actually from.

Since Bush is the son of an ex-president, and since his running mate is a roll of toilet paper, we're calling it the Prince-Charmin ticket. BACK TO INDEX PAGE ©2000 NegativeSpin.com Now the Bush campaign is on a roll... very interesting! E-Mail: tom@hauntedbookstore.com 9-4-2000