ELIAN GONZALEZ GLOATING PAGE You don't like it? Let us be real honest here....We simply don't care. Got it? Good. His "Family" in America goes down to flaming defeat! Supreme Court been berry berry good to us! Happiness reigns supreme at their expense! Oh, the only thing bad about flaming wreckage is that eventually the flames go out!

Of course this is Guffy the Guffawer. (The name will be trademarked unless Pokemon or Beanie Babies already has it.) Guffy likes to make fun of people when they're kicked down. He's going to laugh at the various ones kicked down in this case. We're only sorry there's not a Super-Supreme Court (like at Pizza Hut), so those wacky bozos might be kicked down at least one more time! WHERE DID THIS FAMILY OF DINGBATS GET THEIR NERVE ANYWAY? TO TRY AND TAKE A KID AWAY FROM HIS DAD AND HIS COUNTRY? SERVES 'EM RIGHT! NOW MAY THE EXPENSE OF JUSTICE KEEP 'EM BANKRUPT FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES...THAT IS UNTIL THEY EXPLOIT ELIAN ONE LAST TIME WITH THEIR BOOKS, OR MOVIE...

Where does a kid go to get a "family" like this? Let's see, his mom is bringing him to the United States. She dies, then they step in to help out. Then they ignore that the kid still has a living parent. Then they get very possessive. Then they want their "day in court," which stretches out nearly forever. Then the government has to take him by force. Then they fly to Washington and don't get to see the boy (ha ha). Then it's back to court for another marathon session, and all the way to the Supreme Court. All to take someone else's kid from him. Yes, a "family" like this is really something to have. Like a curse.

Guffy the Guffawer again here. GLAD YOU LOST, MORONSLEYSIS. YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY NOT THAT HARD TO GET PREGNANT AND HAVE YOUR OWN KID, M. IT SAVES YOU HAVING TO CLAIM SOMEONE ELSE'S. IT SAVES ALL THE EXPENSE OF GOING TO COURT. IT SAVES MAKING A TOTAL FOOL OF YOURSELF. BUT WE WOULDN'T HAVE HAD ANYONE TO LAUGH AT AND KICK WHEN SHE WAS DOWN. HA HA! {kick kick}. (Hey, that can't be Guffy the Guffawer pictured. He had 4 teeth last week! And I think his hair was a little shorter.)

Guffy the Guffawer takes no guff from no fisherman. HEY PHONY FISHERMAN, DON'T THINK WE FORGOT YOUR PART IN THIS WHOLE FIASCO. NOW THAT YOU DON'T HAVE SOMEONE ELSE'S KID TO CRADLE IN YOUR ARMS IN A CLOSET AT 4 IN THE MORNING, MAYBE YOU CAN GET OUT AND DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE. WILL YOU TAKE THE BAIT? YES, OF COURSE THE FAME WAS KIND OF FUN, EVEN IF IT MEANT EXPLOITING SOMEONE ELSE'S MISERY. DID YOU KNOW YOU COULD GO AND FATHER YOUR OWN KID, IF YOU REALLY WANT A KID? YES, IT'S NOT TOO TOUGH. WHEN YOU'RE OUT FISHING, WATCH THE FISH WHEN THEY SPAWN, MAYBE IT'LL GIVE YOU A CLUE. ONLY DON'T COME CRYING TO US IF SOMEONE TAKES YOUR KID. YOU'VE ALREADY SHOWN THAT THAT WOULDN'T BOTHER YOU. BY THE WAY, WE SAW YOU ON "BURDEN OF PROOF". AND YOU'RE ABOUT AS SMART AS JETHRO BODINE. {kick kick...} haha

Guffy "sez": Lazzy, you're ridiculous! AND TO THE HEAD OF THE "FAMILY". LAZZY, MAY YOU ROT. WE'RE SO HAPPY YOU LOST THE CASE! A LITTLE COMMON SENSE WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU THE CASE WAS RIDICULOUS FROM THE GIT-GO, BUT A "LITTLE" COMMON SENSE IS A LITTLE MORE THAN YOU HAD. NOW EVERY TIME YOU LOOK OUT IN YOUR BACKYARD AND THINK ABOUT WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN, WE HOPE YOU'RE JUST AS MISERABLE AS YOU MADE THE BOY'S FATHER ALL THOSE MONTHS. WE WISH MANY YEARS OF LAWYERS' BILLS FOR YOU. WE'RE HOOTING WITH LAUGHTER AT YOU. HAHA {kick kick}

WELCOME BACK TO CUBA, ELIAN! BACK WHERE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY REALLY LOVE YOU AND WANT THE BEST FOR YOU! WE EXPRESS OUR DEEPEST SORROW TO YOU, DEAR ELIAN, FOR THE ABUSE YOU SUFFERED IN THE UNITED STATES. NOT EVERYONE HERE IS LIKE THAT. YES, YOUR "FAMILY" HERE WAS A NIGHTMARE, BUT MAYBE YOU'LL RE-ADJUST. AND THE POLITICIANS, BUSH, GORE, AND THE USUAL GANG OF IDIOTS (CONGRESS) EXPLOITED YOU TO NO END. BUT MAYBE YOU'LL GET OVER IT. WE HOPE SO. CONGRATULATIONS TO JUAN MIGUEL! WE WERE PULLING FOR YOU THE WHOLE TIME! AND PLEASE STICK TO YOUR GUNS, IF THE "FAMILY" IN AMERICA SENDS ANY CHRISTMAS OR BIRTHDAY GIFTS, JUST RETURN THEM UNOPENED, OR BETTER YET, BURN THEM.

BACK TO INDEX PAGE ©2000 NegativeSpin.com 6-28-2000 IF YOU VOTE FOR GEORGE W. BUSH, YOU HATE AMERICA. PLEASE LOVE AMERICA: VOTE GORE-VENTURA IN 2000. WHAT HAS AMERICA EVER DONE TO YOU? IT HAS DONE NOTHING BUT GOOD FOR YOU. PLEASE REPAY AMERICA FOR HER GOODNESS!