The World of George W. Bush

George W. Bush knows how to find the United States on one of these round maps. Do you? The media's up to its old tricks again! Expecting our beloved candidate for President to prove himself, to see if he knows anything. This time whether he knows the names of the various leaders of the world. The so-called "Hot Spots"! We're with Mr. Bush on this one, when he looked the reporter in the eye and said, "Do you?" Excuse us, you media troublemaker, but there'll be plenty of time for Mr. Bush to learn such things when he's elected! But this pesky type probably won't just go-away, unfortunately. So we've prepared a short list of world leaders, and we hope the Bush campaign refers to it before any of these "interviews," more like "50 Questions" if you ask us! We refuse to believe he's some kind of foreign policy dunce! UNITED STATES - Pres. Calvin Coolidge CANADA- Gov.-Gen. Lord Byng MOROCO- Abd-el-Krim of Riffians NIGERIA- British governor NICARAGUA- Pres. Carlos Solorzano TURKEY- Mustapha K. Pasha CUBA - Pres. Alfredo Zayas MEXICO - Plutarco Elias Calles BULGARIA - King Boris III SANTO DOMINGO- Gen. Horacio Vasquez SALVADOR - Pres. Alfonso Q. Molina TEXAS - Gov. Ma Ferguson SOURCE: Bufton's Loose-Leaf Extension Service for Bufton's Universal Cyclopedia, 1925,  Edited by Paul I. Neergaard, Mutual Publishing Co., Kansas City. We also want to help him with TALKING-POINTS for the upcoming debates, especially if this subject should come up: RESOLVED: That the United States should enter into an agreement for the mutual cancellation of the Interallied Debts incurred during the Great War The United States is morally obligated to cancel, for A. Cancellation is in accordance with American ideals and traditions because 1. After the Boxer Rebellion, U.S. gave back $12.5 million. 2. Monroe Doctrine demands that we aid weaker nations. B. These debts are not just ones, because 1. The Great War was our war from the beginning a. Germany violated all international laws. b. Our country was filled with German spies. c. Germany attempted a conspiracy with Mexico against us. 2. We profiteered off their need: a. We had not prepared for war. b. It cost the U.S. less in lives and money than it did the Allies. c. We forced the Allies to extend credit to Russia. SOURCE: Bufton's Loose-Leaf Extension Service for Bufton's Universal Cyclopedia, 1925,  Edited by Paul I. Neergaard, Mutual Publishing Co., Kansas City. Finally, some useful answers for Mr. Bush, so he can always get the best of these media snoops who seem to think they know it all and that he's some kind of brainless idiot (he's not). "I don't like the politics of personal destruction. I refuse to answer your question about who's buried in Grant's Tomb." "I'm not going to play that Gotcha-Game. Of course I know the President of South Africa, and if you want to know his or her name, look it up!" "I haven't got time to tell you the name of the Great Leader of North Korea right now because I'm already late for a dinner to honor my wife. I will tell you he's got black hair." Hang in there, Mr. Bush. And remember, you're running for President of the United States, not some third-rate country like Mexico or Africa!